Donnerstag, 28. Dezember 2006

von Hunden und Männern #1



manchmal oder öfters sind sie wie Hunde; folgsam, hörig, eigenwillig, freiheitsliebend, anschmiegsam, lästig, untreu, oder auch treu...

man versucht es ohne sie und muss doch mit ihnen -können....






heftiges Schlagen auf den Hinterkopf hilft nicht,-bei unerwarteten Nebenwirkungen wenden sie sich bitte an ihre Beste-Freundi oder den Kühlschrank!

Das ist eine Rubrik die immer wieder kehren wird.

Sonntag, 24. Dezember 2006

X-Mas Special #2


HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
by Dr. Suess


Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...

But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All the Who girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!

And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer..."
The Grinch looked around.
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...?
No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.

THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshakle sleigh
And he hitched up old Max.

Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Whos
Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Grinchy Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"

And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two.

The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.
And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then the last thing he took
Was the log for their fire.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.

And the one speck of food
The he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.


Then
He did the same thing
To the other Whos' houses

Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the other Whos' mouses!

It was quarter past dawn...
All the Whos, still a-bed
All the Whos, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Who-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then...?
Well...in Who-ville they say
That the Grinch's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch carved the roast beast!

All the best and season´s greetings!

Freitag, 22. Dezember 2006

Mode-des Kaisers neue Kleider







Modische Verbrechen, gibt es überall...-so auch hier.

Zeig mir deine Kleider und ich vermute wer du bist...

auch hier gilt Versuch und Irrtum...





Ich trank Tee mit dem Rosaroten Panther-so schauts aus!

Sonntag, 17. Dezember 2006

X-Mas Special




Weihnachten, das Fest der Feste,
das Fest der Kinder und der Gäste.
Hektisch geht es vornher zu,
von früh bis abends keine Ruh.
So ging es, keine Ahnung habend,
vor ein paar Jahren, Heilig Abend
der zudem ein Sonntag war,
ich saß grad bei der Kinderschar.
Da sprach mein Weib: "Tu dich nicht drücken,
du hast heut noch den Baum zu schmücken!"
Da Einspruch meistens mir nichts nützt,
hab kurz darauf ich schon geschwitzt;
den Baum auf richtige Läng gesägt
und in den Ständer eingelegt.
Dann kamen Kugeln, Kerzen, Sterne,
Krippenfiguren mit Laterne.
Zum Schluß - ja Herrschafts-Donnerwetter!
Nirgends fand ich das Lamette!
Meiner Frau, der wurd es heiß
und sie sprach: "Jawohl, ich weiß
voriges Jahr war es stark verschlissen,
darum haben wir´s damals fortgeschmissen.
Vergessen hab ich neues zu besorgen,
doch werden wir uns nachbarlich was borgen.
Doch Nachbar links, rechts. Drunter, drüber,
keiner hat Lametta über.
Die Geschäfte sind geschlossen.
Beide Eltern schaun verdrossen.
Als Psychologe zu den Knaben
Sprach ich: "Wir werden heuer haben
Einen Baum, altdeutscher Stil,
weil mir Lametta nie gefiel!"
Da gab es Tränen, Schluchzen, Heulen,
ich tat mich drum sehr schnell beeilen-/
zu sagen: "Stoppt mir sofort mir eurer Gezeter,
ihr kriegt `nen Baum mit viel Lametta!"
Trotzdem konnt ich noch nicht begreifen,
woher bekomm ich Silberstreifen?!
Als ich gerade holt ein Messer,
las ich "Hengstenberg-Mildessa."
So stand´s auf Sauerkrautkonserve,
ich kombinier mit Messersschärfe:
hier ist die Lösung eingebettet,
das Weihnachtsfest, es ist gerettet!
Schnell wird der Deckel aufgedreht,
das Kraut gepresst, so gut es geht,
zum Trocknen einzeln aufgehängt
und dann geföhnt, doch nicht versengt.
Die trocknen Streifen, sehr verblichen
mit Silberbronze angestrichen
auf beiden Seiten Silberkleid;
oh freue dich, oh Christenheit.
Zwar roch´s süß-sauer zur Bescherung.
Geruchlich gab´s ne Überquerung,
weil mit Benzin ich wusch die Hände,
mit Nitro reinigt Hos´ und Wände.
Vereint mit Räucherkerze und Myrthe,
gesamt - Odeur etwas verwirrte.
Und jedermann sprach still verwundert:
"Hier riecht's nach technischem Jahrhundert!"
Ne Woche drauf, ich döste fest und fester,
´s war wieder Sonntag, man schrieb Silvester,
da sprach mein Weib: "Es es kommen Schulzen, Lehmanns, Meyer
heut' Abend zur Silvesterfeier."
Wir werden leben wie Fürsten,
ich gebe Sauerkraut mit vielen Arten Würsten.
Dann folgt ein Schrei, wobei entsetzt sie schaut,
sie stöhnt: " Am Christbaum hängt das Sauerkraut,
vergessen hab ich neues zu besorgen,
doch wird ich nachbarlich was borgen."
doch Nachbar links, rechts, drunter, drüber,
Sauerkraut hat niemand über.
Auch die Geschäfte sind geschlossen,
beide Eltern sind verdrossen.
Somit wurd ich wieder Retter,
holt vom Baume das Lametta.
Mit Terpentinöl und Bedacht,
hab ich das Silber abgemacht.
Das Kraut dann gründlich durchgewässert,
mit reichlich Essig dann verbessert,
dann noch Nelken, Pfeffer, Salz,
Curry, Ingwer, Gänseschmalz,
dann, als das Ganze sich erhitzte,
das Kraut, es funkelte und blitzte.
Da konnt ich nur noch nach oben fleh'n:
"Laß diesen Kelch vorübergehn!"
Als das Kraut dann wurd serviert,
ist dann folgendes passiert:
Eine Dame mußte niesen,
man sah aus ihrem Näschen sprießen
tausend winzige Silbersterne.
"Mach es noch mal, ich seh das gerne",
so rief man ringsrum hocherfreut,
doch sie, sie wußte nicht Bescheid.
Franziska Lehmann sprach zu Franz:
"Dein Goldzahn hat heut Silberglanz!"
und einer der da mußte mal, der rief:
"...ich hab ´nen Silberstrahl!"
So gab´s nach dieser Kraut - Methode
Noch manche nette Episode.
Beim Heimgang sprach ein Gast zu mir:
"Es hat mir gut gefallen hier,
doch wär die Wohnung noch viel netter,
hätts´s du am Weihnachtsbaum Lametta!"
ich konnte da gequält nur lächeln
und frische Luft mir noch zu fächeln.
Ich sprach und klopfte ihm auf´s Jäckchen:
"Nächstes Jahr, da kauf ich hundert Päckchen! ! !"


In diesem Sinne-frohe Feiertage

" gebrösel"

an wen das gerichtet ist brauche ich nicht zu erklären...




The Owl and the Pussycat


The owl and the pussycat went to sea,

In a beautiful peagreen boat.

They took some honey and plenty of money,

wrapped up in a five pound note.

And they sailed away for a year and a day,

To the land where the “ Bongtrees “ grow.

And there in a wood a piggy wig stood,

With the ring at the end of his nose.

And they say: “ Dear pig are you willing

To sell for one shilling your ring”.

Said the piggy: “ I will “.



ganz nebenbei erwähnt hab ich keine Ahnung von wem das ist, also bitte den Autor ausfindig machen und vielleicht noch vervollständigen, weil den Schluss hab ich vergessen....

I don´t know who wrote this poem, but I like ist.
Maybe someone can find out how the poem ends, because I can´t remember any more.

Donnerstag, 14. Dezember 2006

Intro#2



translation of the text:
a cigaret makes your life shorter for 2 minutes
a whisky makes your life shorter for 4 minutes

a work day makes your life shorter for 8 hours!



Now a second try...

Maybe I will need another try, but who kows, maybe this blog will "survive". I don´t know - we will see!
I will use this blog as my platform, everybody is welcome to give a comment on my posts.

In general this blog will have a kind of entertainment value with a sense of truth about life...



Eigentlich soll dieses "Etwas" einen Unterhaltungwert haben und meine virtuellen Nachbarn zum Grübeln bringen! ;)


To be honest: most of the things I´m just doing for fun and hoax.




Montag, 4. Dezember 2006

intro

in progress...-maybe someday finished, but not this year!